Dealing with the fear of losing

Hi gang,

At the goalie coaching outfit I work for, we have some general rules about goaltending that have stood the test of time. The first is this: "You're going to give up goals." A corollary to Rule No. 1 would be this: "You're going to lose games." In fact, it's inevitable.

And that's not the end of the world. Trust me. The reality of competition is that there are going to be winners and losers. No one is going to win them all, and (hopefully) no one is going to lose them all. Still, given the pressure that goalies typically accept as the "last line of defense," it's worth taking a closer look at how to deal with the outcomes of our games.

Let me know what you think! Best, -Brion

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DEALING WITH THE FEAR OF LOSING

A decade ago, I was working with a young goalie who showed considerable promise, despite his tender years. He had good athletic ability, terrific control of his body, super concentration, was very coachable, and was willing to work his tail off. That's not a combination of traits that you often see in an 8-year-old.

But there was one additional trait that "Danny" had that concerned me. He was consumed with winning. Every goal, whether it was his fault or not, was cause for a meltdown. He'd work himself into a lather, which always made me nervous. Because when Danny was in that state, his game fell apart, and pucks would start flying past him. In other words, his competitive streak was sometimes his own worst enemy.

Obviously, it's one thing to compete, and it's another thing altogether to lose your composure. So I found myself in the unenviable, and unpredictable, position of coaching a young man who was the polar opposite of many of his peers. Instead of slacking off, he worked himself to exhaustion. Instead of not caring enough, he went overboard. While we worked (and worked) on the technical aspects of the position, I made sure to spend more and more time just getting Danny to lighten up. To laugh. To enjoy the game. Because if it's not fun, what's the point?

That's what makes goaltending so stressful. So much of you sense of self-worth, and success, is predicated on team success. I once won an Over-40 tournament where I hardly saw a shot. My team simply dominated, and I only gave up a total of five goals in sweeping five games. My teammates raved about my performance, even though I knew I didn't deserve the praise. They did. But it's one thing for a 45-year-old man to understand that situation. I'm not sure it's fair to ask the same of an 8-year-old.

That's why the following question – posted on the Positive Coaching Alliance (positivecoach.org) web site – caught my attention: "Can you send me information on how positive coaching affects how certain athletes play to win instead of not to lose? How can coaches help athletes feel good about themselves, have confidence and own that 'fighters' mentality? How does a 'fighters' attitude translate to team sports and how is it affected by positive (and negative) coaching?"

The PCA turned to Lucid Performance's Graham Betchart for a response. Betchart provided the following three tips for helping these players so they can play to win and be great instead of playing to avoid mistakes and not to lose, with additional comments from yours truly.

One. "Emphasize process over outcome." This is a great way to make sure your goaltenders don't get too high or too low. Regardless of whether your goaltender has a great game or stinks the joint out, and regardless of whether your team wins or loses, make sure your very next practice plan focuses on simply getting better. The best players know this intuitively; they're never satisfied. No matter how many achievements, or accolades, they collect, they want to improve. Cultivate that mindset.

Two. "Emphasize and recognize athletes who are action-oriented, with a great attitude and giving maximum effort." This is another variation, I think, of "hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard." There is simply no substitute for hard work. And when you can combine hard work with an upbeat, positive attitude, magic can happen.

Three. "Stay present. Coach your players to lock into the present moment, focused on what they can control. The only place an athlete can affect an end result is in the present moment. They can't replay the last play or play the next play before it arrives." My daughter Maddi had a volleyball coach who had a great expression: Drop the brick. In short, it meant "let it go." This is not the same thing as "having a short memory," which is a favorite-if-flawed adage among sports analysts. Goalies need to have long memories, in order to learn. But in the moment, they need to "move past" a bad goal, because they need to concentrate on the next shot. You never want one bad goal leading o another bad goal.

On a related note, I want to credit Stop It Goaltending's Brian Daccord for a terrific idea that he recently posted on Facebook. Daccord is one of the true innovators in goalie coaching circles, specifically because he's open to new ideas and new techniques. His suggestion for teams to create a "goaltending department" – essentially a team within a team – is inspired.

"So you've got your goalie coach, your starter, your back-up, whoever that may be," said Daccord. "It's about everybody in that goaltending department making the team better. How do you make the team better? You challenge guys to work harder in practice. You make it harder for them to score. You make them become better. You push your other goalies. The goalie coach helps both goalies, or all three goalies.

"And then when it comes to game time, one guy gets to play," he said. "Only one guy plays, but that guy is a reflection of the department. And if that guy does well, everybody does well."

It's a new twist on an old concept – you win as a team, and you lose as a team. And that helps take the pressure off any one player (i.e. the goaltender). Now, there are a couple of necessary caveats with this idea. First, I've actually dealt with parents who would actually see the team lose with their kid playing than the team win with their kid on the bench.

Second, Daccord assumes each team should have a goalie coach. He's right, of course. But the reality is that far too many teams still don't consider having a goalie coach a necessity. That's simply shortsighted. These days, having a goalie coach is a must. Not a separate coaching program where you send your goalies, but a coach who is actually on staff. That provides a far better conduit between the head coach and the goalies, and will allow you to create that "goaltending department."

POSTS AND CROSSBARS: Kudos to the New Jersey Devils for stepping up and making the forward-thinking decision to support the National Women's Hockey League's Metropolitan Riveters. Far too many NHL owners talk about growing the game, but it's just that: Talk. Too many of them fail to walk the talk. This is something that Boston Bruins owner Jeremy Jacobs should be out front of, but that hasn't happened. Given the less-than-charitable nature of the Bruins ownership (see "failure to uphold TD Garden agreement to fund local youth hockey"), that's hardly surprising. But it's disappointing nonetheless. Supporting the NWHL is a tremendous way to grow an audience – young women – that's full of potential. That's how you grow the game. For example, the Devils-Riveters alliance began in early October at Prudential Center with a World Girls Hockey Weekend. The Riveters joined more than 60 area youth hockey players for the Devils home opener against the Colorado Avalanche. The girls not only met the Riveters, but also participated in a skating clinic after the game. Brilliant. The Bruins, and the rest of the NHL, should take note.

FINIS

If you're a hockey coach, try to think like a goalie coach

Little goalies need patience, and understanding.

Hi gang,

I'm returning to a familiar theme, based on a recent telephone chat I had with a concerned dad from Arizona. The father had an 11-year-old daughter who was a goalie, and was already developing a case of the "yips" because of the amount of shots she was seeing each practice. This simply drives me nuts. Hockey coaches, at every level, need to develop an understanding of the right way -- and the wrong way -- to coach goaltenders. Stop treating them like some oddball. They are part of the team. You, as a coach, owe it to them to take care of them.

Remember, I'm not talking about all the technical details about the position. It is different ... I get that (even though you should strive to have an understanding of the basics). What I'm emphasizing is an awareness about what drills are beneficial, and how many pucks a goalie ought to see each time he or she steps on the ice.

Let me know what you think!
Best, -Brion

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IF YOU'RE A HOCKEY COACH, THINK LIKE A GOALIE COACH

Consider the following a cautionary tale heading into your 2018-19 hockey season.

Perhaps the worst thing for a dedicated coach is to see a team fail to reach its potential. All things being equal, wins and losses are usually predicated on talent. And talent, particularly at the high school level, can vary dramatically from year to year.

Getting the most out of whatever talent you have on the ice is the goal. When a team doesn't, it's incredibly frustrating. To illustrate, I'll refer to a girls' team that I knew well (I'll refrain from identifying the squad, to protect the guilty and the innocent alike).

Part of the reason this particular team fell short of its potential is the predictable dilution of talent that often happens with girls' high school hockey programs. The 2016-17 team I'm referring to lost its best natural sniper, who led the team in scoring as an 8th grader, to a local prep school (why any prep school is allowed to compete against public schools is beyond me, but that's a topic for another day). They also lost another talented 8th-grade defender to a full-season "select" program.

I saw this changeover firsthand. The year before, during the 2015-16 season, I was part of the staff as a goalie coach. The first-string netminder that season was a freshman who had come on board the year before as an 8th grader, having never played hockey, much less goalie. She hardly saw the ice that first year, backing up a senior. Her mom even told me that she was happy in the role, content to record stats and cheer on her teammates.

This youngster (I'll call her Patty), was a very good student, and a solid little athlete, playing field hockey and softball. Those are all good things. But it was also clear that hockey was going to be number No. 4 on her "depth chart," behind academics, field hockey, and softball.

Patty worked hard, made nice strides during the 2015-16 season, and actually was given the "Most Improved Player" award at the team's banquet. It was nice to see. However, the following summer, things went sideways for me.

My lower back tightened up in early July. By August, I was losing feeling in my feet. A visit to a back specialist led immediately to an MRI on my spine, and a next-day appointment with a neurosurgeon. The prognosis was spinal stenosis – an arthritic narrowing of the spinal column and nerve openings – and two herniated discs.

By mid-October, I was scheduled for surgery, with a three-to-12 month recovery period. When it became clear that my back wasn't going to allow me to get back on the ice, I immediately told the head coach that I wouldn't be able to work with Patty.

Another long-time goalie coach attended a few early season practices, but that was it. That's not going to make much of a difference. The instruction has to be consistent to have any lasting impact. There was also a former All-American goaltender who lived in town, but no one bothered to reach out to her.

That gets to the very core of my frustration with this team. When you, as a coach, have an obvious need, you have to be creative in addressing that need. That's an integral part of coaching. You need to go beyond the X's and O's.

Out of habit, I attended several practices, and quickly noticed that not only was Patty not getting any specific instruction, but she was also victim of the traditional "goalie killer" drills. Warm-ups consisted of players waltzing right down the slot, on their forehands, without any pressure, ripping shots. Seriously, how the heck is this supposed to "warm up" the goalie? Instead, it's the perfect recipe for developing a case of "the yips." And Patty had the yips in spades. How a coach could not see this is beyond me.

Moreover, Patty wasn't doing any of the goalie-specific skating exercises that I gave her the previous year. Those exercises are specifically designed to allow goalies to limber up without getting peppered by pucks. So I went home, drew up a set of three goalie-specific shooting drills (which, by the way, are also excellent shooting drills for the forwards), and a "save sequence" warm-up developed by Brian Daccord at Stop It Goaltending.

This sequence is a form of physical visualization – or "ghosting," as Daccord calls it – where a goaltender mimics the basic saves (stick left, stick right, smother, butterfly glove, butterfly blocker, standing glove, and standing blocker, following the imaginary rebound (except for the smother and glove saves). I walked the coaches through the "save sequence" warm-up, and the drills. I reiterated how important the drills were for the shooters as well as the goalie. Shooters had to go at game speed, stay on their backhand if they cut in on their backhand, and drive the net for rebounds.

The first session was encouraging. And then … nothing. I checked in occasionally to make sure the goalie-specific drills were being run, and was disheartened to learn they weren't. It was if the other coaches felt as that single session would make a difference.

News flash: It won't. Goalies, especially young goalies, need to work on these basics, over and over again. If you're coaching kids at the high school level or younger, you have to make sure they're adhering to a good warm-up routine and good practice habits. That's your job.

Almost predictably, Patty's development stalled, and the team finished two games below .500, and out of the playoffs. In short, nowhere near its potential.

So here's the bottom line: It doesn’t matter if you're not a "goalie coach," per se. You owe it to your goalies, and ultimately your team, to learn the basics and be able to run some rudimentary goalie-specific drills. Your goalies will benefit. And if they benefit, your team benefits. What other motivation do you need?

 POSTS AND CROSSBARS: Typically, I'm a fan of technology (even if I'm a slow learner sometimes). I'm perfectly OK with using cameras and instant replay to determine a goal at the game's higher levels (NHL, minor pros, and collegiate). But the idea of winding back the video 20, 30 seconds, and sometimes even more than a minute to determine if the offensive team gained the zoned illegally, is ludicrous. So I wholeheartedly endorse the NHL rule change that penalizes teams with a two-minute penalty if an offside challenges isn't upheld upon review. In fact, I'd like to see the offside review rule abolished altogether.

In a game that's starving for goals, this review simply makes no sense. It seems like everyone (except goalies and goalie coaches) complains about netminders and their gear being too big, and taking up too much space. At the same time, rule-makers are allowing borderline calls to take goals off the board. I've found that linesmen at the game's higher levels do an exceptional job at making these calls correctly, on a consistent basis. Even if they get the occasional call wrong, it's typically a matter of inches, and certainly doesn't contradict the spirit of the rule (which, of course, is to prevent cherry picking). I equate it to the strike zone in baseball. Can you imagine a video review after every close call at the edges? Of course not.

There is rarely any distinct advantage gained by an offensive team when a call at the blueline is that close. Let it go.

FINIS