Few understand the exquisite agony of a goalie gaffe

Boston University goaltender Matt O'Connor.

Hi gang,

Every goaltender gives up bad goals. Unfortunately, they come with the territory. But how we deal with those bad goals often defines who we are, what kind of character we have, and what kind of goaltender we'll ultimately be.

Boston University's Matt O'Connor (no relation) gave up a terrible goal (a full video can be seen here) at the worst possible time -- The NCAA title game, with his team nursing a one-goal lead. Absolutely brutal. How he moves forward from this will speak volumes about this young man. This piece was originally published for Sports Illustrated's Edge platform (seen here). Let me know what you think ...

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Few understand the exquisite agony of a goalie gaffe

There are bad dreams. Then there are nightmares. Hockey goaltenders know both. But it's the nightmares that can not only cost them a game, or a championship, but also derail a career.

"(Montreal Canadien Hall of Famer) Jacques Plante said it best," said Dr. Saul Miller, author of "Hockey Tough" and "Performing Under Pressure." "He said, 'Can you imagine a job where every time you make a mistake, a red light goes on and 15,000 people stand up and cheer?' That's pressure."

Boston University junior netminder Matt O'Connor knows. Coming into the Frozen Four, the undrafted Ontario native had a banner season, backstopping the Terriers to the biggest turnaround in college hockey. NHL scouts took notice after O'Connor and BU captured Beanpot and Hockey East championships on the Boston Bruins home ice, the TD Garden. The third championship game, however, would not be the charm.

After recovering from a puck-handling miscue in the national semifinal against North Dakota, which BU won 5-3, O'Connor and his Terrier mates were battling the Providence Friars for the NCAA title. With less than nine minutes left, and BU nursing a 3-2 lead, Friar defenseman Tom Parisi lofted a harmless dump-in toward the Terrier net. It was such a routine play that Parisi turned for a line change the moment the puck left his stick.

O'Connor caught Parisi's pop fly, but in a split second of indecisiveness, he hesitated as his defensemen circled back. The puck slipped from his glove, and fell between his legs. O'Connor dropped to his knees, inadvertently knocking the puck into his goal. As two BU teammates clutched their helmets in disbelief, O'Connor looked agonizingly into his empty mitt. It was a soul-crushing gaffe.

Moments later, Friar Brandon Tanev ripped the game-winner over O'Connor's left shoulder, giving Providence a 4-3 victory and their first men's hockey national championship. But even in celebration, Friar goaltender John Gillies, the Frozen Four MVP despite giving up a shaky early goal of his own, empathized with his counterpart.

"As a goalie, you feel for a bounce like that," said Gillies, who signed with the Calgary Flames this week. "You've been there, so you know the bottomless feeling that it presents."

The key phrase is, "as a goalie." The position carries unique pressures that few positional players can fully appreciate unless they've spent time between the pipes. But all goalies, from 6-year-olds to the NHL (especially those now playing in the Stanley Cup playoffs), are all too familiar with the weight or expectations. St. Louis Blues goaltender Jake Allen felt the heat after he gave up two embarrassingly soft goals against the Minnesota Wild in Game 6 of the opening round, costing his team the game and the series.

"If a forward isn't forechecking aggressively, and the other team has an easy breakout, who notices it?" said Miller. "If the D-man's gap is too big and the opponent gets some momentum and generates a chance, some people might see that. But if the goalie makes a mistake, the whole world sees it. It's very consequential."

Bad goals magnify that burden. Worse, goalies can't actively atone for a mistake. If an infielder boots a grounder in baseball, he can make amends next time he bats. But a goaltender must wait for the game to come to him.

"The difference between good goalies and really good goalies is having patience," said Brian Daccord of Stop It Goaltending, a former goalie coach for the Bruins. "That's mental toughness."

So how does a goalie recover? In the moment, Miller suggests taking a deep breath and reiterating key concepts, like staying square to the shooter. In the big picture, however, it's essential that goalies cultivate a positive mindset.

"Everybody gets scored upon," said Miller. "Maybe not quite as dramatically, or in the theater that this was, but everyone gets scored on. So you have to learn, as a goalie, how to let it go and get back to the present. The mantra is, 'Next shot. See it, and stop it.' That's all the goalie should be thinking."

Dr. Dan Schaefer, author of "Click! The Competitive Edge for Sports, Entertainment, and Business," said the subconscious mind plays a vital role in a goalie's ability to "bounce back" from a bad goal. Negative thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies.

"What's the internal conversation?" said Schaefer. "Most self-talk is negative, and it's contaminating."

Schaeffer employs hypnosis to help clients uncover hidden mental riddles, solve them, and take ownership.

"How do you control your mind game?" he said. "How do you talk to yourself going into the game? How do you identify and eliminate distractions?"

Both Schaefer and Miller draw on examples from the animal kingdom to help goalies quickly regain focus. Schaeffer prefers the rhinoceros. "A rhino is the only animal that never backs up," he said. "He just keeps moving forward."

Miller likes big cats. When a lion fails to catch an antelope, it doesn't wallow in self-pity.

"There's no negative judgment," he said. "It's always about getting after the next one. So it's a training thing. It's teaching people a process."

Following the game, O'Connor faced the music. The 23-year-old sat in his stall, answering question after question about a mistake he couldn't explain. That post-game performance, say sports psychologists, was an important first step.

"There’s nothing like public humiliation to test your mental fortitude and humbleness," said Dr. Adam Naylor, director of Telos Sport Psychology Coaching. "If you're not willing to be embarrassed, it's tough to play freely at the highest levels.

"The first step in such emotional setbacks is to allow yourself to grieve a bit," said Naylor. "Grieving when something meaningful is lost is a critical piece of being able to step forward.

"When it's time to compete, the great ones look ahead rather than look back," he said. "The past has been mourned and put into perspective. Now it's time to play and write the next chapter."

Perspective also allows goaltenders to remember all the important saves they've made. BU's Hobey Baker winner Jack Eichel confirmed that his teammates understood O'Connor's performance was a major factor in the Terriers reaching the Frozen Four.

"The one thing about goaltending is that you always have to prove yourself," said Daccord. "It never ends. Whether you give up a bad goal, or win a Stanley Cup, you have to prove yourself. "

Matt O'Connor will undoubtedly welcome that opportunity.

FINIS

Coaches can never forget they're teachers first

Clear communication is a key to good coaching.

Hi gang,

Happy Tax Day! Nothing like the thought of Uncle Sam reaching deep into my wallet to motivate me to find a healthy distraction. So, instead, I thought I'd concentrate on something I can feel good about, which often brings me back to hockey.

For the most part, hockey has always been a great outlet for me, whether I'm playing, coaching, or simply watching. It's a sport that I can literally immerse myself in, which allows me an escape from life's little day-to-day headaches. For me, the best part of a team sport is sharing experiences, that interaction with the other players. And that's all about communication. On the coaching side, it means teaching. Which brings me to this month's topic. Let me know what you think ...

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Coaches can never forget they're teachers, first and foremost

Mom always used to say, "There's a right way and a wrong way to do things." Pretty simple advice, which is often the best advice. There's definitely a right way, and a wrong way, to coach young hockey players, and especially goalies. For the most part, it boils down to communication.

With the explosion of youth hockey, there are more and more teams, and subsequently the need for more and more coaches. Many are qualified. Many aren't. To some degree, it's a numbers game. But I've seen a raft of former players filling these spots, with mixed results. Just because you could play, doesn't automatically mean you can coach.

The best case I can recall comes from the National Basketball League, with Larry Bird. Even though Bird was successful, it was painfully obvious that he didn't always have the patience necessary to deal with players who didn't grasp the game as quickly as he did. The same disconnect frustrated Wayne Gretzky during his tenure in Phoenix.

Obviously, it's one thing to be able to do something, and another thing altogether to be able to convey how to do that particular something to someone else. The key is being able to communicate. Sadly, though, communication has become something of a lost art. I've seen it repeatedly, observing countless youth hockey and high school games. Coaches, arms crossed, exhorting their players without actually taking the time (and effort) to teach them. It makes me wonder why they're coaching.

Remember why you took the job (realizing, for most of us, it's not a "job" as much as a calling). Was it all about wins and losses, or was it about helping kids improve? That's what you need to focus on. If you do that, the wins and losses will take care of themselves. But player development has to be your No. 1 priority.

Think about this scenario. I've watched a coach leave the rink following a loss without saying a word to a team of 13- and 14-year-olds. This is not coaching. It's pouting. What does this "teach" your players? Instead, you run the risk of a bunch of boys or girls looking around at each other and thinking, "Well, I guess coach doesn't care." Now, I understand, and even appreciate, that the coach might be upset, but the coach also has to remember who the adult is in this equation.

Likewise, screaming at your players from the bench to "work harder" has a limited application. Even if you're right, there's usually more at issue than just effort. Often at the Squirt, Pee Wee and Bantam levels, the players need instruction. You need to be able to explain, in the moment, what happened, what a player did wrong, and what that player should have done instead. You need to teach. And you need to do it right then and there, when the play is still fresh in the player's mind. In many ways, it's the coach who has to "work harder."

In the same vein, telling the goalie to "stop the puck" is meaningless. I mean, d'uh! Every goalie I've ever worked with, over nearly two decades of coaching, knows that's the job. Stop the puck. But as young goalies develop, they're going to make mistakes, and it's the coaches job to catalog those mistakes and help them correct them.

This is the teaching component. Firing a ton of pucks at your goalies isn't going to improve their technique. In fact, it's likely to increase the number of flaws in their game. If you don't have a goaltending background, learn the basics, and be able to demonstrate. There are a number of first-rate instructional books on the market (the more current, the better) that will provide this working knowledge.

If you juggle the line-up, or replace the starting goalie, explain to your players about why you made that decision. Don't make them guess. Whether your team is playing at the squirt level, high school, or above, players deserve to know. Asking a child to interpret why they were demoted is just unfair. That's when a lot of wayward notions can come into play, things like, "The coach doesn't like me," or "The coach is playing favorites." That's not cultivating team chemistry.

Finally, some coaches implement a "No parents" rule, meaning any communication has to come from the kids. I understand why, especially in this day and age of helicopter parents. But I don't agree. First, the coach/player dynamic is completely skewed against the child. Second, coaches ought to be able to discuss the rationale behind their decisions with another adult.

Coaches who are unwilling to talk to a parent are shirking their duty. Period. Whether a paid position or volunteer, coaching is a privilege, and carries certain responsibilities. And if your players are high school age or younger, you need to engage the parents.

How do you make your players better? You need to teach.

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MAIL BAG

One of the best parts of my work, as a coach and columnist, is being able to help out parents, coaches, and their goalies. Here's a recent letter that depicts a classic dilemma for many goalie parents.

The letter: My 11-year-old son is a strong AAA goalie on a mediocre team. He averages approximately 20-25 shots a game, and over 30 shots when he plays against the two top teams. He is currently a difference maker in his games but they tend to lose more than win and can’t really compete with top teams in the area. Lately he has been receiving a lot of serious interest from these top teams who think he could be the missing piece to their already power house organizations. These teams are claiming he will develop into a better goaltender through practice, training and competing against the other top-level teams. However, these teams don't allow many shots in a game as they are so structured defensively. My question is, should I leave him where he is or take him to one of these top teams? Where will he develop the most?

My reply: This is a great question. Your son is lucky that you're advocating on his behalf. The answer, though, is complicated. Many teams just want a better goalie because they want to win, and aren't genuinely concerned about goalie "development." I'm not saying that's the case here, but you want to be aware of the possibility. Getting more shots in a game is a good thing, provided your son isn't getting discouraged. Here are a few things to consider:

1) What is the quality of practice/coaching he's getting now? Will it improve with another team? It's been my experience that select teams don't automatically mean better coaching, though many select teams will bring in goalie coaches, which is a plus.

2) What is the quality of shots he's seeing now? Will he see better shots with a select team? Better shots, not necessarily more, make a better goalie.

3) A better team will arguably provide better shots in practice. And practice is really where ALL players, including the goalies, improve.

Bottom line, it's not just the number of shots in a game. It's the quality of shots in games and practices, and the quality of coaching. I'd take all of those into account before making your decision. Good luck!

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