Lessons from a goaltender who went above and beyond the call

Goaltender Chris Dylewski's greatest contributions
to the Air Force Academy came off the ice.

Hi all,

Sorry for, once again, falling behind on my monthly posts. It's been wacky and unpredictable summer, but I'm hoping to get back up to speed over the next few weeks. And there's probably no better subject to do that with than Chris Dylewski, a recent graduate of  the Air Force Academy and the 2016 winner of the Hockey Humanitarian Award.

So, without further introduction, my column on this remarkable young man. Let me know what you think ...

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Lessons from a goaltender who went above and beyond the call

Air Force goaltender Chris Dylewski was not super star.

Aside from the fact that he attended a service academy (and every one of those men and women are all-stars in my book), Dylewski was buried deep on coach Frank Serratore's bench. Just the past April, we at the New England Hockey Journal highlighted the breakout season of Dylewski's teammate, goalie Shane Starrett, a Boston University cast-off who grabbed the starting spot for the Falcons.

The 24-year-old Dylewski wasn't even the Falcons' backup. That job belonged to freshman Billy Christopoulos. But Dylewski was a team leader nonetheless. Don't take my word for it. Take the word of his coach.

"Chris is a vital member of our team who sets the tone in practice, in the weight room and in team meetings," said Serratore. "Despite not seeing a lot of ice time on Friday and Saturday, he absolutely makes us a better team with his work ethic Monday through Thursday. Nobody works harder than Chris."

Serratore didn't stop there.

"(Chris) has been a great mentor on a team with so many young players," said the Air Force bench boss. "He's an excellent student at a challenging academic school. He does everything that being a Division 1 athlete entails, while being an excellent leader in the cadet wing and in the community.

"No one has spare time here at the Air Force Academy, but he finds a way," said Serratore. "That's what makes him so remarkable."

Last spring, during the NCAA's Frozen Four weekend, Dylewski received the Hockey Humanitarian Award. The award recognizes "college hockey's finest citizen, a student-athlete who makes significant contributions not only to his or her team, but also to the community-at-large through leadership in volunteerism."

To be sure, Dylewski was a deserving candidate. His achievements in the Cadet Wing and in his hometown Colorado Springs are beyond impressive. In addition to being a D-1 athlete, Dylewski carried the extra academic workload of two majors (international history and political science), and established a local non-profit organization as well as two cadet clubs, the Guide to Cadet Life and Operation Safe.

In 2014, Dylewski founded RISE, Inc., with the lofty goal of developing ethical and inspirational leadership skills in young people. RISE approaches this mission by supporting young people in running their own community service projects, and providing a mentoring, advisory, and support program to build these skills. The group emphasizes supporting underprivileged youth.

One RISE project was a Cadet Wing shoe drive, which collected more than 900 pairs of shoes that were then donated to needy families in Colorado Springs. The project is now an annual effort.

As a sophomore, Dylewski, moved by a classmate's suicide, founded a program that produces the annual Guide to Cadet Life. The publication is considered an invaluable tool for adjusting to the difficult first year at the Air Force Academy. Last year, Dylewski created Operation Safe, which is committed to raising awareness within the Academy about important humanitarian issues, like sex trafficking.

He also took the lead on several community outreach programs with his teammates, such as the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation's Walk for the Cure and trips to local schools, emphasizing the importance of education. His volunteer work includes Blue Star Mothers of America, Special Olympics, and visiting nursing homes and community centers. I'm exhausted simply reading the list.

"The things I did outside the classroom and rink helped me in more ways than I helped others, I am sure of that," he said. "It never felt like I didn't have enough time to do things like work with young people with a passion for community service. Those hours were always ones I look forward to. They gave me more energy. I was enormously lucky to be doing things that I love."

But as inspiring as Dylewski's off-ice accomplishments are, it's his role within the locker room that was a real difference-maker in terms of this column. Keep in mind, the only time he got on the ice on game night was during warm-ups, and the between period skate to and from the bench. This season, Dylewski played in two games, collecting six career minutes in net. It's not the career he envisioned 15 years earlier.

"I first put on the pads at Clune Arena at the Air Force Academy," he said. "It was a pretty typical set-up for a Mite team – we just rotated the pads among the members of the team every time out.

"When it was my turn to wear the pads, I decided that I didn't want to give them back. Since then, I think it's really helped shape my personality. I like being counted on, being perpetually involved, and demanding near perfection of myself."

Dylewski personifies one of my rock-solid tenets of goaltending: The position comes with inherent leadership qualities. Goalies are rarely selected captains, but that has more to do with the in-game logistics of being able to talk with the on-ice officials.

But goalies need to lead by example. They need to be exceedingly positive, and self-assured. If they're not upbeat, they can bring the team down. And that's just as important in practice as it is during games.

"I've always felt it was the responsibility of the goalie to set a tone on and off the ice, and project a calm confidence for the team to mirror," said Dylewski.

What Dylewski embodies is that goaltenders aren't some oddball appendage to a team. They're an integral part of the team, even if they're not getting much game time.

"For me it was most important to focus on what I could contribute on a daily basis," he said. "On a Wednesday before a big game, two-thirds of the way through the season, I remember thinking that we seemed to be lacking a bit of the energy we typically had. So I resolved to be as sharp and energetic as possible on that day and the next."

Dylewski's refreshing outlook also bucks a rather disturbing trend I've seen in hockey over the past few years. In short, there are far too many goalies – good goalies – who somehow feel like they've failed if they didn't win the starting spot.

If nothing else, Dylewski proves that, in hockey, game statistics – wins, losses, save percentage, goals against average – are not the complete measure of the man (or woman).

"I always find myself talking about what I did for others, and what I accomplished during these things, but the real story here is not me," he said. "The real story, as far as I see it, is that I have been given incredible gifts by the hockey world.

"The sport has given me the ability to focus on things greater than myself, to understand what it means to serve others toward a higher goal, helped me understand what it means to focus, train, and perform on a kind of level that is absolutely necessary in whatever pursuit a human being is involved in in today's complex and challenging world," said Dylewski. "My parents, my coaches and teammates, and the Air Force Academy gave me the opportunity to play the game, and I couldn't be more thankful."

Spoken like a true leader.

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Few understand the exquisite agony of a goalie gaffe

Boston University goaltender Matt O'Connor.

Hi gang,

Every goaltender gives up bad goals. Unfortunately, they come with the territory. But how we deal with those bad goals often defines who we are, what kind of character we have, and what kind of goaltender we'll ultimately be.

Boston University's Matt O'Connor (no relation) gave up a terrible goal (a full video can be seen here) at the worst possible time -- The NCAA title game, with his team nursing a one-goal lead. Absolutely brutal. How he moves forward from this will speak volumes about this young man. This piece was originally published for Sports Illustrated's Edge platform (seen here). Let me know what you think ...

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Few understand the exquisite agony of a goalie gaffe

There are bad dreams. Then there are nightmares. Hockey goaltenders know both. But it's the nightmares that can not only cost them a game, or a championship, but also derail a career.

"(Montreal Canadien Hall of Famer) Jacques Plante said it best," said Dr. Saul Miller, author of "Hockey Tough" and "Performing Under Pressure." "He said, 'Can you imagine a job where every time you make a mistake, a red light goes on and 15,000 people stand up and cheer?' That's pressure."

Boston University junior netminder Matt O'Connor knows. Coming into the Frozen Four, the undrafted Ontario native had a banner season, backstopping the Terriers to the biggest turnaround in college hockey. NHL scouts took notice after O'Connor and BU captured Beanpot and Hockey East championships on the Boston Bruins home ice, the TD Garden. The third championship game, however, would not be the charm.

After recovering from a puck-handling miscue in the national semifinal against North Dakota, which BU won 5-3, O'Connor and his Terrier mates were battling the Providence Friars for the NCAA title. With less than nine minutes left, and BU nursing a 3-2 lead, Friar defenseman Tom Parisi lofted a harmless dump-in toward the Terrier net. It was such a routine play that Parisi turned for a line change the moment the puck left his stick.

O'Connor caught Parisi's pop fly, but in a split second of indecisiveness, he hesitated as his defensemen circled back. The puck slipped from his glove, and fell between his legs. O'Connor dropped to his knees, inadvertently knocking the puck into his goal. As two BU teammates clutched their helmets in disbelief, O'Connor looked agonizingly into his empty mitt. It was a soul-crushing gaffe.

Moments later, Friar Brandon Tanev ripped the game-winner over O'Connor's left shoulder, giving Providence a 4-3 victory and their first men's hockey national championship. But even in celebration, Friar goaltender John Gillies, the Frozen Four MVP despite giving up a shaky early goal of his own, empathized with his counterpart.

"As a goalie, you feel for a bounce like that," said Gillies, who signed with the Calgary Flames this week. "You've been there, so you know the bottomless feeling that it presents."

The key phrase is, "as a goalie." The position carries unique pressures that few positional players can fully appreciate unless they've spent time between the pipes. But all goalies, from 6-year-olds to the NHL (especially those now playing in the Stanley Cup playoffs), are all too familiar with the weight or expectations. St. Louis Blues goaltender Jake Allen felt the heat after he gave up two embarrassingly soft goals against the Minnesota Wild in Game 6 of the opening round, costing his team the game and the series.

"If a forward isn't forechecking aggressively, and the other team has an easy breakout, who notices it?" said Miller. "If the D-man's gap is too big and the opponent gets some momentum and generates a chance, some people might see that. But if the goalie makes a mistake, the whole world sees it. It's very consequential."

Bad goals magnify that burden. Worse, goalies can't actively atone for a mistake. If an infielder boots a grounder in baseball, he can make amends next time he bats. But a goaltender must wait for the game to come to him.

"The difference between good goalies and really good goalies is having patience," said Brian Daccord of Stop It Goaltending, a former goalie coach for the Bruins. "That's mental toughness."

So how does a goalie recover? In the moment, Miller suggests taking a deep breath and reiterating key concepts, like staying square to the shooter. In the big picture, however, it's essential that goalies cultivate a positive mindset.

"Everybody gets scored upon," said Miller. "Maybe not quite as dramatically, or in the theater that this was, but everyone gets scored on. So you have to learn, as a goalie, how to let it go and get back to the present. The mantra is, 'Next shot. See it, and stop it.' That's all the goalie should be thinking."

Dr. Dan Schaefer, author of "Click! The Competitive Edge for Sports, Entertainment, and Business," said the subconscious mind plays a vital role in a goalie's ability to "bounce back" from a bad goal. Negative thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies.

"What's the internal conversation?" said Schaefer. "Most self-talk is negative, and it's contaminating."

Schaeffer employs hypnosis to help clients uncover hidden mental riddles, solve them, and take ownership.

"How do you control your mind game?" he said. "How do you talk to yourself going into the game? How do you identify and eliminate distractions?"

Both Schaefer and Miller draw on examples from the animal kingdom to help goalies quickly regain focus. Schaeffer prefers the rhinoceros. "A rhino is the only animal that never backs up," he said. "He just keeps moving forward."

Miller likes big cats. When a lion fails to catch an antelope, it doesn't wallow in self-pity.

"There's no negative judgment," he said. "It's always about getting after the next one. So it's a training thing. It's teaching people a process."

Following the game, O'Connor faced the music. The 23-year-old sat in his stall, answering question after question about a mistake he couldn't explain. That post-game performance, say sports psychologists, was an important first step.

"There’s nothing like public humiliation to test your mental fortitude and humbleness," said Dr. Adam Naylor, director of Telos Sport Psychology Coaching. "If you're not willing to be embarrassed, it's tough to play freely at the highest levels.

"The first step in such emotional setbacks is to allow yourself to grieve a bit," said Naylor. "Grieving when something meaningful is lost is a critical piece of being able to step forward.

"When it's time to compete, the great ones look ahead rather than look back," he said. "The past has been mourned and put into perspective. Now it's time to play and write the next chapter."

Perspective also allows goaltenders to remember all the important saves they've made. BU's Hobey Baker winner Jack Eichel confirmed that his teammates understood O'Connor's performance was a major factor in the Terriers reaching the Frozen Four.

"The one thing about goaltending is that you always have to prove yourself," said Daccord. "It never ends. Whether you give up a bad goal, or win a Stanley Cup, you have to prove yourself. "

Matt O'Connor will undoubtedly welcome that opportunity.

FINIS

Wanderlust is not the best trait of a quality goalkeeper

You can't always get what you want, and even some
of the world's best goalies (Montreal's Carey Price,
in this instance) spend some time riding the pine.

Hi gang,

Early fall is ice hockey's second "silly season." The first is in the spring, immediately following the end of the actual hockey season. This is when parents start scrambling like mad to find the "right" select team for their young hockey player.

What they don't always understand is that nothing is guaranteed, even in youth hockey. The composition of the team you thought you were joining might well change - and change dramatically - by the time your child suits up in the fall. That can mean the addition of another goalie who will challenge your child for ice time. (Trust me, anyone who takes a "club" or "select" hockey official at his or her "word" is begging to be disappointed.)

And the fallout is all too predictable. Johnny (or Janey) isn't getting as much ice time and Mommy and Daddy think is appropriate. So they start playing "musical teams" with their child, looking for a better situation. I saw one glaring example of this in youth hockey, when a father (I'll call him  "Joey") moved his son ("Billy") to four different teams over two years. Billy was a good kid, always cheerful and smiling, but he wasn't a very good goaltender. Pucks just found their way through him, constantly, regardless of how much additional instruction he got. But Joey kept insisting his child ought to be a starting goalie, which meant he had to keep changing jerseys.

And Billy went along with it, primarily (I'm guessing) because he didn't have a choice. Along the way, I'm convinced Billy actually started to believe what his father was preaching. Billy thought he was better than he was. Which, of course, almost always leads to disappointment. Which got me writing about the topic. Let me know what you think ...

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Wanderlust is not the best trait of a quality keeper

The youth sports landscape has become increasingly complicated these days. Spring and summer have transformed into bizarre migration seasons for young athletes, where players and their parents move to a new school, a new team, or a new program in the hopes of finding a "better fit."

A better fit, of course, is parent-speak for "a place where my kid will get a fair shake, because he hasn't gotten one yet." I've seen this phenomenon happen at all ages. Many coaches have.

"Yeah, kids are jumping everywhere. If they don't like what's going on, they go somewhere else," Boston University legend Jack Parker told me once. "I will give you an example. When I was recruiting Tony Amonte (in 1987), he was a terrific player at Thayer Academy. He was 17 years old at the time, trying out for the Junior Olympic team. Now, they let him try out, because he was such a talent and they knew he was going to be on the junior team in the future. But there was no way he was going to make the junior team as a 17-year-old kid.

"But they let him try out, and there was a game on the South Shore, and they were playing a junior all-star team," said Parker. "Tony came out after the game with a long face on. His father said, 'What's wrong with you?' And Tony says 'What's wrong with me? I didn't play much. Didn't you watch the game?'

"And his father says, 'That's what's bothering you, Tony?'

"'Yeah, I didn't play enough.'

"'Well, Tony, let me ask you something. Do you want to play more?' And Tony says, 'Yeah, of course I want to play more.'

"And his father says, 'Then play better, Tony.' He didn't say 'The coaches are screwing you,' or 'You're way better than those other kids.' He just said 'Play better.' And that was it."

Youth hockey could use more parents like Mr. Amonte. Jump ahead 22 years, to June 2010, when a 39-year-old Tony Amonte was named the head coach at Thayer Academy. His athletic director, Matt McGuirk (Thayer, class of '92) knew things were going to be different when Amonte returned. Very different.

"When you and I were playing, there was one all-star team in town, and if you didn't make it, you played for your youth team," McGuirk told me three years ago. "Now, there's 55 all-star teams, a lot of for-profit organizations that will, quite frankly, tell you anything you want to hear if you're going to give them $5,000.

"What Tony represents is not so much a complete 180, but the bottom line is, there's no politics involved with his gig," said McGuirk. "You come out, you try out for the team. If you make the team, you're going to be an integral part of the team, whether you're a first-liner or a fourth-liner.

"Tony is all about the Old School meets the New School, and I think that's really important. In this age of enablement, this age that there's always another option, this age of materialism, Tony is all about getting to the core of it. You show up, you go to work, and you go home. The message is so important now, especially with kids today. If you want something bad enough, you can get it. Tony is of the school that you have to earn it. You've got to earn everything you get."

Amonte agreed with his former teammate, noting that the landscape, and its inherent wanderlust, has irrevocably changed, "not only high school hockey, but hockey in general. There are different forces pulling these kids everywhere. Keeping these kids in school is going to be a task, and I think it's going to be a task for every coach."

"It's tough," said Amonte, parsing his words carefully. "There's a lot of competition (for players) out there. There are tons of teams, and everyone wants to win."

As a result, the hockey landscape is filled with bedouin players, nomadic tribesmen roaming from rink to rink, program to program. And the situation is particularly applicable for goaltenders, for one obvious reason. While there can be 12 to 18 positional players per team getting ice time in any given game, there is usually just one goaltender. Most teams carry two or three goaltenders, but too many coaches, with their blinders firmly fastened on in their relentless drive for wins, will ride their No. 1 netminder upwards of 80-90 percent of the time. Sometimes every minute. Which, of course, can lead to disappointment and bruised feelings for the kids who aren't playing. And for Mom and Dad.

"Parents are part of the picture now," said McGuirk. "Being able to solve a problem by moving laterally rather than actually solving he problem through work ethic and determination, is more of the trend now. "

I've seen it firsthand. One glaring example comes to mind, a young man who I've coached since he first strapped on the pads at age six or seven. I've watched him grow, and become a very solid young netminder. Not spectacular, but solid. His freshman year, he attended a nearby prep school, but transferred to another for his sophomore year because his prospects of varsity playing time looked dim. After his junior year, a season in which he was the clear-cut starter, the young man was on the move again, leaving his prep school squad for a junior team. "We felt it was in his best interests," I heard, admittedly second-hand, from a "family adviser."

Really? I'd like to know just what those "best interests" are. I know it's a subjective term, but being the starting goaltender at a prep school with a good academic reputation seems like a pretty sweet arrangement to me. But junior teams offer more games, and supposedly more exposure, which supposedly equates to a better chance for a college scholarship or other opportunities. Clearly, going the prep school route didn't hurt Cory Schneider (Phillips Andover) and Rick DiPietro (St. Sebastian's School), but I recognize that they were exceptional talents. It has to be tougher for the middle-of-the-pack goaltender.

This is where character comes in. Developing character means learning to deal with adversity. And the best way to deal with adversity is to work harder. A determined work ethic is the gritty sandpaper needed to create an exquisite piece of furniture. It is the resolve that will sustain you as you get older, and life throws you curve ball after curve ball.

"That's the big dilemma. Do you take the kid with the heart, or the kid with the skill," said Amonte, when asked what is the greatest character trait he looks for in recruits. "I go for the heart every time. You can teach the skill, you can teach the systems, you can tell them where to be, but if they don't have the work ethnic, it's never going to be there.

"It's a learned skill too," he said. "Every day on the ice is a day you can get better. That's the way I look at it. You can try something new, you can try to get better, and do something you didn't do the day before."

Amen. You don't measure heart or work ethic by the miles that you've logged transferring between programs, or the number of teams you've played for. You measure it in effort you put in during practice and games, and in the weight room, off-season and in-season. As you start your season this fall, recommit yourself to that work ethic, and to your team.

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